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Boy Vey! The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men, by Kristina Grish
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The definitive, hilarious guide to why Jewish men make the best dates, where to snag a hot mensch, and how to win his mother's heart
After all, she's molded him into the cutest little Oedipus complex you've ever met. Could you show some appreciation?
With humor and emotion, Kristina Grish celebrates the terrific intricacies of multilayered, interfaith relationships in this girl-meets-boy dating guide. She waxes poetic about why Jewish men are great boyfriend material: They're smart, entrepreneurial, generous, doting, and funny. They love to eat, and they're passionate in bed. Sure, their neuroses have neuroses. But isn't it nice to know there are guys out there who analyze relationships more than you do?
Chapters such as "Why Choose the Chosen Ones?," "The First Shtup," and "Talk Yiddish to Me" detail how a sexy Shiksa can meet, date, and love a nice Jewish boy of her own.
- Sales Rank: #1075843 in Books
- Published on: 2005-05-31
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: .44" h x 5.54" w x 8.24" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
About the Author
Kristina Grish is the author of three books, including Simon Spotlight Entertainment's Boy Vey! The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men. She's currently a contributing editor to Marie Claire and has written for Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Teen Vogue, Outside, and Vibe, among others. She lives in New York City. Visit Kristina at www.kristinagrish.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
55 of 66 people found the following review helpful.
Mildly entertaining, but not sufficient; glosses over deeper, more important issues
By Amanda
I read this book while I was dating a Jew for a few months. It was a lighthearted, occasionally helpful book (I didn't know his neurosis was normal until, to my great relief, I read a chapter on it in this book!). "Boy Vey" does, as others have already pointed out, rely on some stereotypes and generalizations; but hey, generalizations and stereotypes are often there for a reason, so at the very least it helps to what they are, right?! This book helped me (a girl from the rural Midwest... not exactly a place where I grew up with a lot -or any- Jews around, so since I now live in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood in a large city I need all the help I can get) clear up a FEW questions I had about my Jewish boyfriend of the time. The book was particularly appealing to me because it is told through the experience of a girl who was raised with a Presbyterian background and who is inexplicably drawn to Jewish men. I was more or less that girl until realized how difficult it truly is to have a successful relationship with a Jewish boy.
From the beginning, this book makes it clear that it will not touch upon the highly controversial issue of interfaith dating, and for a good reason. Interfaith dating (particularly Jewish-Christian interfaith dating) has been a highly passionate religious and cultural debate that's been raging for thousands of years. A few books in the year 2005 aren't going to have the solution to that debate, simply because a few books aren't going to erase or re-write thousands of years of deeply held religious and ethnic traditions and beliefs. So, it makes perfect sense that this book isn't there to touch upon this issue. Fair enough.
But with that said, unless you (the shikse) read "Boy Vey" knowing full well that you're going to face a lot more issues in your relationship than not understanding what "schlep" means, you may find this book to be misleading in terms of what your prospects are of having a long-lasting, good relationship with a Jewish man. The general attitude of the book is that if you learn a few Yiddish words and get accustomed to Jewish holidays and food and family, then you'll essentially melt right into the Jewish culture, or at least his family, when this is in fact far, far from reality. A shikse will, more or less, always be just a shikse to a good Jewish family (parents, grandparents) who cares for their boy that you're lusting after. You will, save for a few extraordinary cases in a few rare (undoubtedly very secular Jewish families), feel like you are "the other." And for a boy who loves his family and is fiercely proud of his heritage, religion, and homeland (and I'm talking about the homeland of Israel; not Queens, Liberty Heights, or Cote des Neiges)... not to mention that pungent and potentially terrifying (to a shikse) power of his Jewish mom and her favorite weapon (guilt), it's going to be very hard for his desire or love for you to overshadow his upbringing, culture, family, and the deeply ingrained tradition for which it all stands for. No matter how much he might like you and you might like him, it's going to be a very rocky road ahead if you two date and this book simply glosses over that fact.
I don't want to sound overly negative, but if you are serious about getting into a relationship with a Jewish guy and you don't have a lot of background on the Jewish faith or culture, then please do more research into it than that which this book talks about. In my 4-month, relatively casual relationship with a Jew, the two of us faced a great deal of uncertainty, questions, and even some racism, despite the fact that we were both fairly open-minded individuals. Interfaith dating is not as simple as it seems... or as simple as this book makes it seem.
And my final thought: don't get me wrong. Jewish guys are great. There's always that possibility that it might work. Several of my better friends (keyword here is "friends") are Jewish guys and they're such great men that I wonder where in the world all of the Jewish girls are and why they haven't scooped up these handsome, intelligent, and caring friends of mine... those lucky, lucky Jewish girls! (By the way - this is a book that would be mildly useful and worth looking at if you happen to have a few Jewish friends.)
The bottom line is that this book is a fun and somewhat useful book, but ONLY if you're already fully aware of the social, cultural, and religious implications involved with dating a Jew.
16 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
From one shiksa to another...
By Isabelle
I recently finished Boy Vey - such a quick, funny read - and had more than a few laughs over the dating anecdotes (both the author's and her subjects') presented in this book. I really hope that Grish's readers realize she's speaking from her own experience - and backing up her points with those from the jewish community and interfaith couples - so it's not just her voice that's heard, but a mix of voices. The book is an entertaining but helpful guide, though it definitely requires an open mind and willingness to trust that the author's writing with her tongue firmly planted in cheek. It's a leap of faith I was happy to take - and to that end, really enjoyed. I highly suggest this book and wish her the best of luck!
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
dating or Marriage?
By Lady
The problem is that the author is an experienced 'Dater' of Jewish men. She hasn't taken the step to marry one and see all the problems arise. Doron Kornbluth's Why Marry Jewish (written for Jews and non-Jews) deals with the surprises that come after the wedding - many of which would surprise the author.
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